So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
