My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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