so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The air was thick with penises
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
