Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
