Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
