THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
