ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
