you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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