Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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