So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
