id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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