Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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