he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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