GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
