I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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