If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
