hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
