one might say we're banned from that church
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
