I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
