dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
