her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
