I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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