remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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