oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
