Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
