I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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