I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
