I didn't shave. On purpose
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The air was thick with penises
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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