have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
