i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
