belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
