I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Randomize
