Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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