I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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