The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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