Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
