So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
