The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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