i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
