Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
