Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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