Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
