im drinking this country out of the recession.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
