physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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