Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
