I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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