i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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