it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
