It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
