so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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