Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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