I hate your face
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
