she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
