he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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